It’s funny how beginnings and
ends can be so intricately woven together, that with the blink of an eye you’ve
made the transition from one to the other.
And your head is left spinning, and your heart is left weeping… and
rejoicing at the ups and downs of the roller coaster that you just stepped off
of. And you’ve found yourself in this
strange limbo of wishing to god that you were still on the ride, and just being
immensely grateful that you got to ride at all, and hopeful that the next ride
will come along soon. I feel like I’ve
just stepped off of my very first roller coaster. My head is still spinning, and I feel a
little nauseated at both the ride and this anxious fear that the next one is
far away. But it was one hell of a
ride. I got to experience the sensation
of sleeping next to and holding someone I cared about, and whom I wanted to be
sleeping next to. I got to be amazed by
the feelings and sensations of being with a woman. I got to experience intimacy for the first
time. I was given so many firsts,
including my first heartbreak. My first tears
shed over feelings and emotions that I’m still not
capable of fully wrapping my head around.
I can’t define it, and I can’t seem to find a way to articulate it in a
way that makes any sense to me. And
still... it was one hell of a ride!
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